GANGREL ANTITRIBU NEWSLETTER VOLUME 8 NUMBER 12 November 2006 In this nearly-Christmas issue .... FICTION: Growths [part 2 of a Call of Cthulhu story] RECIPE: How to cook wild mushrooms PROPERLY MARKET FORCES: What the Vampire-buying public DON'T want, at least in Newcastle. DECK REPORT: 3rd Edition deck from last issue in action. FICTION: Growths [part 2 of a Call of Cthulhu story] Alison gazed out of the window as the car raced over the Tay Bridge and on into Fife. She reflected that in all her life there had never been such a beautiful autumn, and yet the papers and television were full of long-faced Puritans prophesying doom, or at least Climate Change, which appeared to amount to the same thing. "One day, people will look back on this as one of the great Moral Panics." "What? Oh, sorry Jo. I was thinking something very similar, probably we both got onto the same mental track via the marvellous weather?" "Indirectly, in my case. I was thinking about mushrooms." "Magic ones?" "Nonono, sacking offence in my line of work, and anyway borderline crazies like you and me should NEVER do psychotropic drugs. Too much risk of going up and never coming back down again. But Ceps, hedgehogs, Chanterelles, THOSE are matter for a Fall morning. Once I've shown you the new Royal Residence I'll show you a REAL secret of mine." The two friends negotiated various security checks and duly inspected the Royal Family's new and temporary summer residence, necessitated by a rat infestation at Balmoral. "All very fine and Scottish baronial. Is this where the dishy Prince will be, erm, sleeping?" "Nah, he's in the next wing. This is Ugly Prince territory." "Odd thing, that. I once saw their mother. SOOOO beautiful." Jo looked at her watch. "I want you to look at something in the library before we go. Perhaps you'll want to borrow it." Something in the library turned out to be A True Relation of Ye Late Wych-findings in Ye Parish of Couthie, by the Reverend Decimo Tuttle, published by Canongate Press around the year 1650. Something had been cornered and done to death in the grounds of the very house in which the two friends now stood, and much of what was attributed to that something reminded both of them of their adventure of the morning. They left the house with the book, though not with their unsuspected hitch-hikers from the police station. As they approached Tayport Jo turned off the main road onto an earthen track that soon led into sandy pine forest. Alighting, they instantly found themselves surrounded by amazing fairy-groves of fungi, amongst which Jo identified magnificent swelling Ceps and the Golden Trumpets of Chanterelles, plus a scattering of Hedgehogs [Hydnum repandum]. "We'll cook them back at your flat, and look over that book together. OK?" Alison nodded, and they turned towards the car. A nearby tree shook, and resolved itself into a camouflage-suited man levelling an automatic weapon at them. Slowly they both raised their hands. "Are you SURE we're allowed to pick mushrooms here?" .....TO BE CONTINUED. RECIPE: How to cook wild mushrooms PROPERLY If Jo and Alison ever do get to cook those mushrooms, here is how they will do it. First, they will locate all the wild mushroom recipe books they have in the house. They will use these to light a brisk fire. Then they will anoint a frying pan with butter and extra-virgin olive oil. No salt in the former, and about a tea-cup full of the latter. They will heat the pan. Into the pan they will throw the cleaned and sliced, but NOT washed or peeled, products of their foray. Cook for 1 minute on a medium flame, stirring often. Add a clove or two of garlic. Cook for a minute more. Add a small chopped onion and a handful of chopped parsley. Stir round and add salt. Eat. You can try this at home. The important principles are the VERY brief cooking, NOT washing the fungi, and NOT adding salt till the very end. Failure to observe any of these precepts will leave you with a soggy slimy watery goo which is really not very nice, unless you are lucky enough to have chosen for your dish one of the very small number of wild fungi which can survive the treatments usually recommended [Hedgehogs, Chanterelles and Horns of Plenty are the only ones which are anything like common in the UK]. MARKET FORCES: What the Vampire-buying public DON'T want, at least in Newcastle. Lady Legbiter is moving to a new job at the University of Sussex, Brighton, on February 1st so there was something of a valedictory mood over Anklebiter and myself as we drove up to 'toon this Friday. Newcastle has some excellent games/model shops and in one of them, Travelling Man, I found a fantastic VTES sale in progress. Here is what they had, at 0.5GBP/booster, and 2.99GBP per deck: 25 Anarch boosters 4 Anarch starters [2 Gangs, one Barons, one Gangrel] 1 Black Hand starter [!Nosferatu] 1 Final Nights starter [!Brujah] 8 Final Nights boosters 8 Gehenna boosters 3 Nights of Reckoning boosters 6 Legacy of Blood starters [no boosters]. I bought the lot, except for 4 of the Legacy of Blood starters and the 3 NoR boosters. The guy gave me the latter anyway, so desperate was he to get rid of them. 3rd edition was also on display at full price and in reasonable abundance. I will be building decks with these cards, of course, but the point of this article is the comment of market forces on what is hard to shift in Newcastle. The clear inference is that pretty much everything except Anarchs sold pretty well, even [amazingly enough, at least to me] Nights of Reckoning. DECK REPORT: 3rd Edition deck from last issue in action. It didn't give me Terrefisto in my opening draw. It sucked. It blew. It sank. And that's it for another !Gangrel-free issue of the !Gangrel newsletter! See you whenever I can next drag my lazy old bones to the word-face! Address for correspondence: Chopsalotapepl@SWIFTIANWORDMEANINGVULGARIAN.co.uk Ignore the posting address for this NL, and any communications you may receive from it, since they will be offering to enlarge your willy or inviting you to give lots of money upfront to Nigerian con-people with alleged access to vast sums of hot dosh.