Gangrel Antitribu Newsletter


In this nearly-Christmas issue ....

FICTION: Growths [part 2 of a Call of Cthulhu story]
RECIPE: How to cook wild mushrooms PROPERLY
MARKET FORCES: What the Vampire-buying public DON'T want, at least in
DECK REPORT: 3rd Edition deck from last issue in action.

FICTION: Growths [part 2 of a Call of Cthulhu story]

Alison gazed out of the window as the car raced over the Tay Bridge and
on into Fife. She reflected that in all her life there had never been
such a beautiful autumn, and yet the papers and television were full of
long-faced Puritans prophesying doom, or at least Climate Change, which
appeared to amount to the same thing.

"One day, people will look back on this as one of the great Moral

"What? Oh, sorry Jo. I was thinking something very similar, probably
we both got onto the same mental track via the marvellous weather?"

"Indirectly, in my case. I was thinking about mushrooms."

"Magic ones?"

"Nonono, sacking offence in my line of work, and anyway borderline
crazies like you and me should NEVER do psychotropic drugs. Too much
risk of going up and never coming back down again. But Ceps, hedgehogs,
Chanterelles, THOSE are matter for a Fall morning. Once I've shown
you the new Royal Residence I'll show you a REAL secret of mine."

The two friends negotiated various security checks and duly inspected
the Royal Family's new and temporary summer residence, necessitated
by a rat infestation at Balmoral.

"All very fine and Scottish baronial. Is this where the dishy Prince
will be, erm, sleeping?"

"Nah, he's in the next wing. This is Ugly Prince territory."

"Odd thing, that. I once saw their mother. SOOOO beautiful."

Jo looked at her watch.

"I want you to look at something in the library before we go. Perhaps
you'll want to borrow it."

Something in the library turned out to be A True Relation of Ye Late
Wych-findings in Ye Parish of Couthie, by the Reverend Decimo Tuttle,
published by Canongate Press around the year 1650. Something had been
cornered and done to death in the grounds of the very house in which
the two friends now stood, and much of what was attributed to that
something reminded both of them of their adventure of the morning. They
left the house with the book, though not with their unsuspected
hitch-hikers from the police station.

As they approached Tayport Jo turned off the main road onto an earthen
track that soon led into sandy pine forest. Alighting, they instantly
found themselves surrounded by amazing fairy-groves of fungi, amongst
which Jo identified magnificent swelling Ceps and the Golden Trumpets
of Chanterelles, plus a scattering of Hedgehogs [Hydnum repandum].

"We'll cook them back at your flat, and look over that book
together. OK?"

Alison nodded, and they turned towards the car. A nearby tree shook,
and resolved itself into a camouflage-suited man levelling an automatic
weapon at them. Slowly they both raised their hands.

"Are you SURE we're allowed to pick mushrooms here?"


RECIPE: How to cook wild mushrooms PROPERLY

If Jo and Alison ever do get to cook those mushrooms, here is how they
will do it.

First, they will locate all the wild mushroom recipe books they have in
the house. They will use these to light a brisk fire.

Then they will anoint a frying pan with butter and extra-virgin olive
oil. No salt in the former, and about a tea-cup full of the latter.
They will heat the pan.

Into the pan they will throw the cleaned and sliced, but NOT washed or
peeled, products of their foray.

Cook for 1 minute on a medium flame, stirring often.

Add a clove or two of garlic. Cook for a minute more.

Add a small chopped onion and a handful of chopped parsley. Stir round
and add salt.


You can try this at home. The important principles are the VERY brief
cooking, NOT washing the fungi, and NOT adding salt till the very end.
Failure to observe any of these precepts will leave you with a soggy
slimy watery goo which is really not very nice, unless you are lucky
enough to have chosen for your dish one of the very small number of
wild fungi which can survive the treatments usually recommended
[Hedgehogs, Chanterelles and Horns of Plenty are the only ones which
are anything like common in the UK].

MARKET FORCES: What the Vampire-buying public DON'T want, at least in

Lady Legbiter is moving to a new job at the University of Sussex,
Brighton, on February 1st so there was something of a valedictory mood
over Anklebiter and myself as we drove up to 'toon this Friday.
Newcastle has some excellent games/model shops and in one of them,
Travelling Man, I found a fantastic VTES sale in progress. Here is what
they had, at 0.5GBP/booster, and 2.99GBP per deck:

25 Anarch boosters
4 Anarch starters [2 Gangs, one Barons, one Gangrel]
1 Black Hand starter [!Nosferatu]
1 Final Nights starter [!Brujah]
8 Final Nights boosters
8 Gehenna boosters
3 Nights of Reckoning boosters
6 Legacy of Blood starters [no boosters].

I bought the lot, except for 4 of the Legacy of Blood starters and the
3 NoR boosters. The guy gave me the latter anyway, so desperate was he
to get rid of them. 3rd edition was also on display at full price and
in reasonable abundance.

I will be building decks with these cards, of course, but the point of
this article is the comment of market forces on what is hard to shift
in Newcastle. The clear inference is that pretty much everything except
Anarchs sold pretty well, even [amazingly enough, at least to me]
Nights of Reckoning.

DECK REPORT: 3rd Edition deck from last issue in action.

It didn't give me Terrefisto in my opening draw. It sucked. It blew.
It sank.

And that's it for another !Gangrel-free issue of the !Gangrel
newsletter! See you whenever I can next drag my lazy old bones to the

Address for correspondence:
Ignore the posting address for this NL, and any communications you may
receive from it, since they will be offering to enlarge your willy or
inviting you to give lots of money upfront to Nigerian con-people with
alleged access to vast sums of hot dosh.